Threats to Disciplining the Home: Abdication

This post was written for Plethos’ Build the Home Blog

Could you imagine being the leader of your kingdom and not stepping up when it mattered? In 1936, King Edward VIII abdicated his throne. Why? To marry Wallis Simpson, an American socialite. This decision threw the United Kingdom into chaos, just a few short years before WW2 began…

I’m all for romantic relationships. And I am not necessarily against monarchism as a political structure. The challenge comes when the one in a leadership position is expected to lead. When they do not show the way, people will stagnate, get stuck, or be snuffed out.

Healthy leadership stabilizes the situation. It’s about considering those under our leadership and our ability to pave the way. The driving force of leadership is love for the people they lead. And coincidentally, this is also the fuel of disciple-making. Disciple-making is a leadership role where God invites and enables us by the Spirit’s power to help people bring all of life under the Lordship of Christ. And it is a task that you and I are responsible for filling.

If you’re on Plethos’ blog page, you probably don’t need much convincing. There might be some of you who ask, “Are you sure though, Tim?” My answer is a resounding yes. Let me try to convince you with just a few passages:

• Husbands lead their wives to spiritual ends (Ephesians 5:21-25).

• Dads raise your kids to follow and respect Jesus (Ephesians 6:4).

• Older women teach younger women to love their families and align their lives with the Word (Titus 2:3-5).

• Timothy learned the Scriptures from his mother and grandmother (2 Timothy 3:15).

We could keep going. The point is that you—whatever role you have in your family—have a responsibility to help cultivate the spiritual life of others in your home. However, sometimes we fall short. We sometimes abdicate our responsibilities to make disciples. Here’s what it can look like:

• Expecting others in your family to step up when you can’t or won’t.

• Expecting kids’ ministry or student ministry to do the heavy lifting in discipleship for you. 

• Leaning excessively into mentoring and accountability relationships instead of taking a leadership role ourselves.

• Believing that Sunday School class or Small Groups will do all the work of discipleship.

• Thinking that your husband, wife, or kids don’t need your spiritual guidance.

We want to lead our homes to faithful discipleship! So let’s move beyond identifying the problem. How can we do that? Four things come to mind:

1. Recognize: This is what you were made for, my friend. Don’t buy into the lie that you’re not essential for your home’s spiritual life. Your relationships, especially within your family, have a purpose—to build disciples.

2. Read: Read. Read. Read. Read the Bible. Show your family how to dig up treasures from God’s Word! Show them how to savor truths from our Savior! Learn to listen to the Lord’s steady, strong voice from the pages of the Bible. Start small, start with a few verses. Maybe follow Plethos’ Bible Reading Plan. Learn the 4D Circle Diagram to drive meaningful, fruitful conversations! And show them how to live the Bible! Ground them in the Word.

3. Rely: Rely on the Spirit’s power in prayer. Pray certainly for yourself to be faithful to the task! But also pray for your disciples to keep following you as you follow Christ!

4. Repeat rhythm: The key here is consistency in the relationship. God has placed you in your family to lead your family in spiritual matters! Don’t miss how critical your role is! Keep giving them the Bible! Keep relying on the Spirit’s power!

Your role as disciple-maker is more important than that of monarchs or CEOs. Don’t quit! Don’t give up! Don’t delegate it to someone else! Instead, love your family well by leading them to love Jesus!

Let’s go together!